Intimidation

My grandmother has battled breast cancer four times and is still going strong. She does, however, have to live with some unfortunate health consequences of all the chemotherapy she has endured. Recently, she was very worried about a hearing problem she developed. She was scared, nervous, and wasn't sure what to expect when she went to the doctors. Then, in the midst of all of this going on for a bit, I asked her how she was dealing with everything and she told me, "My faith is greater than my fear."

My faith is greater than my fear. Wow. I was blown away by this mantra and realized, I could apply it to my own life. I'm not battling any major health issues, but take a moment and think about things that worry you, concern you, or flat out scare you. For me, I have been people pleaser for a long time, and it held me back. As a young girl, it resulted in me being interpreted as super shy. As a teenager, it resulted in me trying to look a certain way. And more recently, it resulted in me holding back emotionally and spiritually from people.

For a long time, I've been intimidated and insecure about my faith and talking about it with others. My first concern was that I didn't have enough knowledge. It felt like everyone around me could spew bible verses on cue, and I drew a blank. So, I kept quiet. Then, as I began to learn more, I grew more comfortable talking with people, but only those I knew where already religious. Then a new worry grew inside me. "What if someone I don't know well is offended by this subject?" or "what if they don't believe in Jesus?" "If they didn't, do I need to represent the entire religion and share it with them?" Talk about pressure and intimidation. The simple solution was remain silent.

I think there is another solution. One that brings me back to the quote, "my faith is greater than my fear." I graduated high school with an unfortunate lack of faith in people. I had been scarred by some people, and had somehow put the pieces together that in order to get by, I had to hold back part of myself. In doing so, the part I hid, stopped living. Is there a part of you that you hide from others out of fear, intimidation, worry, maybe even pride? If so, you have not experienced living fully quite yet. For some, this may mean times of depression, being lethargic, or having a lack of joy, excitement, and awe in life. God can free us from these barriers we build into our own lives, but we must take the first step. In Him, we are exactly who we were meant to be; we don't have to change or hide. We are loved unconditionally even when it seems all else is going wrong.

I thought people wouldn't care. I mean, who am I to them? But, surprisingly, they do care. And until we go out on that limb, make ourselves vulnerable, and share a deeper part of ourselves, we will continue living on the surface, never experiencing anything deeper. It's true every once in a while you'll come across someone who won't give you the time of day, but those people with either forget you or at least remember your effort. So, would you rather live in your safe little bubble not reaching out to anyone in fear or do you want to live, branch out, and reach people? Do you want to experience life on a deeper level - even if that means a bit of a learning curve? I am currently on the learning curve and it's definitely not something that happens overnight. But, it is something that can continually surprise you and will reap rewards for both you and those you touch. Focus on the small, have a little more faith, and let God do the rest. Break the chains of intimidation and fear today and take a step closer to a better you, the you that you were always meant to be.